Saturday, February 6, 2010

Dear January...

Good riddance!

January was probably the single worst month I've experienced in quite some time.

In all honesty, I experienced some really low lows that I've never been through before.

It's hard to come here and write about life like everything is perky and wonderful when really, it's not. Our lives usually are perky and wonderful. I'm generally a funny gal who makes the most out of every situation, but January was not fun for me.

Not even a little bit.

We are very lucky as a family to have the life we have, and trust me, we do not take that for granted. But, every once in a while, the "stuff" takes over and we get bogged down in the details.

I won't go into most of those details here, but Whit has had a pretty rough month. We finally {FINALLY} got in to see the specialist we've been waiting for in Greenville (after 7 long months). The visit was awesome! Whit's doctor is wonderful and really took a lot of time with Whit and with us. We left there feeling better than ever! On top of the world, even.

But, that all quickly changed when we began our first round of medication. The medication interacted horribly with Whit's system and eventually ended up causing the week from Hell for us. We had lots of moments that looked like this:

It was awful. Whit's doctor swiftly made the call to take him off of that medication, but still, the damage was done. I'm not sure what happened that week, but all of the progress that we've made this year with Whit went spiraling down the drain.


It was like the medication removed a filter for Whit and suddenly we were hearing lots of things that we'd never heard from him before. Unsettling, scary things. Things that run through his little innocent head that he believes are true. Things that you'd expect from a teenager filled with emotional angst...not a six year old boy. Things that made me weep. Repeatedly.

So, needless to say, we're back to square one. Actually, we're back to square negative 10. Whit had made a lot of progress this year with his anxiety and suddenly we're waaaaaaaaay back there {again}.

I do not blame the medication. I'm thankful for what we've come through because now at least we know what's going on in that little mind of his. When you know better, you do better. We can do better by him now. At some point, we'll be back at square one. Just maybe not any time soon.

I'm okay with that. I've made peace.

So, that's what's been going on with us.

Plus, on top of everything, our computer crashed. CRASHED.

Add another layer of chaos to the mix.

Mommy wants to pull her hair out at this point.

I LIVE by my computer. Everything, EVERYTHING I do is on the computer. My work files for school, my scrapbooking files, everything.

Gone. GONE!

Just another layer of awful. I had it all backed up through Mozy, but we spent a few weeks first trying to repair the computer, which did not work, and then another week replacing it, so it was a big ole' mess.

I'm glad to be back here now.

Hope your January was awesome!


Erin said...

Oh Leigh...that made ME cry! Your last post with the sheet folding video had me ROLLING! And yes, I successfully folded a fitted sheet after that! But my heart breaks for you...because on some levels, I have been there. I still wonder whether we need that trip to Greenville. Some days I think we're okay...and some days not so much. I will remember you guys in my prayers. Hang in there, sweetie!

Stacy said...

Oh Leigh,

I had know idea y'all where going through such a hard time.I know how hard it was for us getting Noah on the right meds. Praying things get better for you and Whit:)