Sunday, September 27, 2009

This is going to take a while...

so just get ready.

Here's the thing, we really haven't had anything that exciting going on lately.

Not that I'm complaining. Please, Lord, know that I'm not complaining!!

But, really, I'm just not sure if anyone really wants to hear about the mundane daily activities of the Theo clan.

I mean, a gashed head, sure. People want to know about that.

Cute freebies. Maybe.

But, regular old life?? I doubt it.

But, since I've really, really missed writing on the old blog, I thought I'd give her a little update.

Just in case you don't know, I really LOVE the writing part. It's kind of cathartic for me. I've always loved writing, so this blog is a great way to get my writing-fix! Plus, I'm sort of treating it like a scrapbook...I'll record my memories here in the hopes that one day each one will make their way into a real scrapbook about our lives.

So here goes.... I'll start with back to school. I think I'm ready to talk about that now.

Waaaaaay back in August, Whit, Olivia and I all went back to school. For most of us, it was no big deal.

For Whit...well, was a big ole' rotten, stinkin', no good, very bad deal. He didn't want to go back to school. Not even one little bit. He was having a veryfinetimstayinghomealldayeveryday, thankyouverymuch. He really wasn't sure school was even necessary at his age and asked repeatedly why kids have to go to school.

A couple of times he made the argument that he could learn anything and everything he needed to know just by "browsing the internet." I mean, seriously, how can I argue with that? He is, in fact, correct. But alas, as I said at least 1000 times the week before school started, "all kids go to school and unfortunately, Whit, you are a kid, so that means you, too." I really couldn't think of a better argument that would make him understand and "because I said so," just never seems like a viable option with Whit.

The day school started, we got off to a rough start. I mean, just look at the excitement on his face:

Things got a little better after I begged for just a little smile. Okay, maybe it was a fake, but I don't care.

Once we were on our way, I was pleasantly surprised by the chipper attitude I could see peeking out behind the nervous smile!

But, once inside the school, I could tell the anxiety was starting to take over and his little lip started to quiver. I swear I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown standing right smack dab in the middle of the brand new Spartanburg Charter School.

I don't know. There's something about sending your child into a situation that you KNOW is going to provoke the worst possible feelings for them that just makes you feel like a bad mom. I KNOW I'm not a bad mom. In fact, I think I've probably earned a few stars in my crown for the things I've endured as a mom already, but geez...this was awful.

The worst part was he was being SO BRAVE!! He was trying SO HARD to push his nervous feelings away and be strong. He wants to like school, he really does. He just can't.

His doctor explained it well this summer. Imagine something that terrifies you. For me, it's public speaking. In college, when I had to give presentations, I would literally feel like I was going to throw up. And, when I say throw up, I mean PROJECTILE VOMIT MASSIVE AMOUNTS. My heart would race, my blood pressure would soar, I just generally felt horrible. For days in advance, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't get the fear of the presentation out of the forefront of my mind. No matter what I was doing, that fear was always present.

Well, guess what? That's the way Whit feels almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. Unless he is at home, he feels this exact same way. The uncertainty of a new routine or new situation (even if it is a safe one) scares the life out of him.

Imagine that. Imagine feeling this way ALL THE TIME.

It's awful. He can't concentrate, can't sit still, can't focus. Last year, we thought it was possibly an attention problem. But no. His doctor thinks it's the anxiety?!? How could I not have known that before?!

My heart was just breaking for him on the first day of school.

But, he put on a brave face and walked right in.

I lost it. I literally had to go outside the school building and cry. It was like years of not-knowing and uncertainty all came out in that one moment. Not that we know for sure what, exactly, is going on, but at least we have a better idea. We are scheduled to see another specialist soon, so hopefully we'll know more then. Anxiety just seems much more reasonable to me than ADHD (in my humble opinion). I mean, the kid can sit for HOURS and play something that interests him (like his DS, for example). And, he's not hyperactive (usually). I can do science experiments with him for 8 hours straight and he never once loses concentration. But, put him in a new situation and whew, what a different kid!!

So, Whit's first day at school went okay. He asked his teacher probably 60 times, "how much longer" and "what comes next?" On the second day of school, she not-so-nicely suggested we buy him a watch. Good idea! We bought the watch and now, after a few weeks, the questions of "how much longer" have ceased. He can also successfully count down how many hours he has left until Mommy comes in any given day. The first few weeks were hard. We had some random "adjustment moments" and a few days of sporadic crying spells in class, but overall, he's done great!

Early on, I was shocked and amazed to hear Whit talk, with excitement, about his days at school. He really seems to thrive in the type of environment the Charter School offers. He tested high on his MAP test, so twice a week, he gets to go into an "advancement period" with others his age who scored highly on the test. He really seems to enjoy everything the school is offering (even the yoga class and especially Spanish). We have been very pleased with our decision to try the Charter School! We wanted something different, which is why we switched, and we have been so excited to see how well he's done!

Needless to say, I'm proud of this little guy!

Then, there's Olivia. The school-loving, friend-seeking girl that loooooooves to try new things. Loves school. Loves learning. Loves going ANYWHERE that involves leaving our house.

How is it possible that they came from the same womb? I just don't get it.

She started school a few weeks after Whit and has been having the time of her life.

I just pray she continues to love school as much as she does now!

So that's it! That is our back to school story.

I fully intended to get more written, but now I'm tired. I think I wore myself out emotionally once again.

I'll write more soon. I know I promise this a lot. Okay, an awful lot. But, seriously, I will try to write more soon!

Love and hugs, everybody!

Have a great week!


emilyb said...

I'm glad things are getting a little better with Whit and school! I can't imagine everything that is running through his little head every day. I am glad that you all are feeling better and I really hope to see you soon! I miss everyone!

Sophie Morand said...

Woah, it was once again beautiful. You gave me goose bumps. I am glad that my little Eyeore enjoys school at least a little bit.

Stacy said...

I love reading your writings:)

I am so glad Whit is liking school and not feeling so much anxiety.I know that's a load off your shoulders too!

That picture with O,M and K is too cute!